Adventures of the SL Single Girl: Chapter 4

27 May

THE TIME: Thursday Night
THE SPOT: My Skybox
THE SCENE: All alone.. deep in thoughts
THE MOOD: Sad
THE OUTFIT: I Feel Pretty

A moment of vulnerability –
It’s been over a month, and I still miss him. If I was honest to myself and everyone around me, there’s nothing to say except.. I MISS HIM. Him, the ex RL I’m doing this adventure to distract me from the thoughts of Him that keep seeping into my head. I miss the way he smells, the way he breathes, the way he feels, I miss his voice in my ear, I miss him next to me when I crawl into bed. Now I’m more aware of the absence of his presence, my bed seems to big at times, when I roll over and expect to find his warm body, all I feel are the cold sheets, the imprint of his body long gone.

During the day, I convince myself over and over that I don’t miss him and it’s easy. I fill my life with planning my business, researching, moving house, lunches with friends and gaming with my boys. There’s always something to do, some place to be and I’m grateful. But late at night, sometimes his voice still fills my head and the tears start to fall. I relive some of our memories and it’s always so bittersweet. How can two people who worked as well as we did not make it? The questions roll around in my head , and I always have these urges to call him, just to hear him say my name the way he does…laugh his little laugh and talk. I miss that most, our talks.

I’ve taken to playing Star Craft late at night with my gamer boys now, to distract me from wanting to call him. It doesn’t matter that I’ve deleted his phone number, I have the blasted thing memorized. I play SC til’ all hours of night, recently I played until 6am, I was falling over exhausted when I finally climbed into bed, grateful I didn’t have the time to think or remember Him.

My heart hurts. They say time heals all, but does it really? I think it’s more of a matter of time providing the space for you to fill your life with constant distractions. After a while, life just takes over, and that broken heart and those feelings gets piled under everyday things until you can no longer access it. You will always give a piece of yourself to someone you’ve had that strong of a connection with, and you will always have a piece of them with you.  The raw memories gets pushed towards the back of your brain with new thoughts and new memories.  

I’m waiting, I’m waiting for these thoughts of him to be buried so far down I can barely remember his name, or this moment, when I miss him so badly the tears flow so freely and my hands shake as I type these words.
– Vulnerability over.

 

A quick update on the guys so far. I’ve had 2 more conversations with Guy #1, but we have less in common then I thought, I don’t agree with some of the things he thinks is ok, will we remain friends? Sure, but I doubt very close, I suppose when two people have that little in common and disagree on things, what friendship can there really be?

I’ve had one more conversation with Guy #2 and he still makes me smile, the conversation was short and left me wanting more. Do I want more than a friendship? Who knows, I’m just enjoying the conversations for the moment. If it’s meant to be, it will be. I like him though, he’s my type.

I know it may seem like I’m trying to replace a RL boy with a SL boy, but I’m not. I just want incredible conversations, a few giggles and possibly a few new friends. My girlfriends and I have a few more adventures for me planned, there will be a few more chapters as I sneak in some SL time during my move. Wish me luck!

 

TODAY’s LOOK:
Shopping Always Makes Me Happy

SKIN: Belleza – Elle
HAIR: Fri.Day – Tatum 2 in Timid Brown
DRESS: LP Design – GBMS Dress in White
JACKET: CoCo – Tuxedo Jacket in Black
RING: Paper Couture – Diamond Encrusted Square Cut Amethyst Ring
EARRING: Kraftika – No 121 Earrings
NECKLACE: Paper Couture – Long Beaded Bow Necklace
SHOES: Urbanity – Extreme Heels in Rose
POSES: Dismorph & Iris M. for This Is a Fawn

 

TODAY’s SONG:
Paramore – Adore
Love this song.

If I let you love me
Be the one adored
Would you go all the way?
Be the one I’m looking for

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5 Responses to “Adventures of the SL Single Girl: Chapter 4”

  1. Dr. House Ragu, esq., III May 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm #

    I still say He (notice the uppercase H that you seem to misuse) was a 3. *calls your sister and arranges the shanking*

    Too soon?

    Hollaaaaaaaaaaaa

  2. Elena May 28, 2010 at 3:17 am #

    You will smile again.. hugs

  3. Sylvia Olivier May 28, 2010 at 9:44 am #

    i just want to say i sympathize and empathize.
    *hugs* i hope something develops for you and guy number two and makes it a little easier.

  4. Aurora Jacks May 28, 2010 at 1:14 pm #

    went through this last year same time of year, eventually the pain softens, i still feel the pain but it doesnt sting as much, and now he only consumes my thoughts about 1% of the week instead of 99%, hold your head up and be strong… everything happens for a reason

  5. Bubbles Komachi May 28, 2010 at 5:14 pm #

    House – Careful Monkey, she might shank you also!

    Elena, Sylvia, Aurora – thanks ladies! I’m ok most of the time, but sometimes late at night, he creeps on into my thoughts, don’t you hate that?

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